personal
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It’s Father’s Day. He’s dead. And for once, I care about the day.
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Heterosexual men scare me. Not just because of their perceived homophobia, no. But because I am ill-equipped to perform masculinity in the same way that they do.
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My birthday. The anniversary of the day I was born. 19 years ago, I became my own person. I left my mother’s womb, and began a life that continues to this day. I’m thinking about February 5, 1997. Not just how I was born, but the entire world at that time. My grandparents were still…
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My social anxiety, I think, was born out of a need to be loved; to be accepted. And indeed I was accepted, but only under certain conditions. First, as the fat one. Then, as the stuttering one. Followed by smart, the the snooty intellectual. Whenever I tried to show that I was more than just…